Disclaimer: While I wholeheartedly believe in the power of a self-care routine for mental health, this is not a solution for those suffering with suicidal tendencies. If you wish to end your life but are looking for answers before doing so, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (available 24/7) at 800-273-8255
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Stop right there. Has anyone told you you’re a wonderful person who naturally deserves unconditional love and abundant happiness, yet today!? Well now they have.
You’re here because you don’t know how to stop feeling unworthy. But how do you stop feeling a certain way?
If you feel something you must believe it to be true. And if you believe it, then you must have at least one “good” reason as to why that is, right?
What if I told you that just because you think or believed something, it doesn’t mean it’s true?
Think about it this way. Let’s say that you’re 5 years old and you believe in Santa Claus.
You might believe in him because you were taught that he is real.
More importantly, you also believe because your brain looks for supporting reasons why and you just go with that.
Those cookies and milk didn’t eat themselves and why would mom and dad sign the presents “From Santa”? Makes no sense…
The longer you go without questioning a thought/belief, more real it becomes. The belief eventually becomes subconscious and everything else in your world, in some way, is affected by that.
The same goes with limiting beliefs such as unworthiness.
Somewhere along the line (mostly during childhood) we’re taught to think and feel a certain way based on circumstances outside of our control and reactions to our actions.
After all, we’re just kids. We’re trying to figure out how to “be”, and ultimately how to be successful and survive.
We do this by absorbing information like a sponge.
Every little tidbit that the people around us do, say and act.
The unfortunate (depending on how you look at it) part of this is that by an early age (I’ve heard age 7 or 8ish), our brain is like “Okay, that’s a wrap. We have all the information and belief systems in place that we need to successfully survive the rest of our life! We’re done here and we never have to worry about trying to figure anything else about ourselves out ever again!”
Um wait a minute, are you serious!? How many of you can remember much about being 7 years old?
The thought of letting those limited believes, with lack of perspective determine the outcome of the rest of your life is earth shattering!
The power of changing your belief in your unworthiness comes from inside of you.
If you’re unfamiliar with the personal development side of debunking limiting beliefs, buckle up ‘cause it’s about to get bumpy.
Psst!...Interested in starting your own personal development journey and need a Personal Development Plan Checklist!? Check out this Free Printable I created just for you guys!
I’d like to paint this picture for you by sharing a personal story about my sister. My TWIN sister!
We’re super close and often experience the same epiphanies and emotional growth journeys around the same time but in slightly different ways.
When we were little, our parents used to refer to us as “Baby A” and “Baby B”. That’s how we were labeled in the hospital when we were born. I was born first (Baby A) and my sister was born next (Baby B).
My sister, wanting to understand more about her purpose and place in the world, asked my mom one day about the “Baby A/Baby B” thing.
My mom explained that she was born after me. Throughout a series of other childhood events, my sister developed this limiting belief all around the fact that I was born first.
It gave her a sense that she was unworthy to let herself shine through.
As if she always deserved to come in second place and she had to hold herself back or else the universe would be unbalanced (for lack of a better way to put it).
When we were younger, I was always a little more outgoing than she was. Regardless, our personalities are quite different considering we’re (fraternal) twins.
Along the way she started to believe that her place in the world was always behind me in anything she did.
It wasn’t until right before our 29th birthday that she realized all of this and her whole life changed.
She started unravelling this limiting belief and has started discovering who she is and what’s possible for her now that she doesn’t have that hard-wired belief engrained in her anymore!
Your thoughts become beliefs and your beliefs manifest themselves into all areas of your life.
It’s your responsibility to observe your thoughts and decide which you want to allow a place in your head and which ones you don’t.
Have you ever heard the saying “You are what you eat”? It’s the SAME with your thoughts. You are WHAT YOU THINK.
Back to how you can apply this to your life.
First off…
Worth comes from within. You need to get behind yourself and love yourself enough to know that. You do this by doing the thought/mindset work we’ve been talking about.
If it’s love, money or “fancy things” you’re feeling unworthy of, know that these things aren’t something that you have to earn.
*SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!* Whatever it is that you don’t feel you deserve, YOU DO NOT NEED TO “EARN” IT.
You don’t need to show proof of some sort of “legitimacy” before you can have whatever it is you want to have. You deserve whatever it is you feel unworthy of just as you are.
Second…
It’s time to change that narrative of unworthiness you’ve got goin’ on there.
Affirmations. Journaling. Gratitude. *mic drop*
Okay but seriously, they’re not a load of crap. Your mind has an amazing ability to create your new reality (beliefs).
Starting to practice these things will push you along this process and change your life even faster and in a way that you couldn’t achieve if you didn’t do them.
Here is the gratitude journal I use and love.
Think of it as the “exercise” part of “diet and exercise”.
Sure, you can lose weight if you watch what you eat but your health/fitness goals are expedited and results are so much better when you combine the two.
To do this, dig into areas you feel you’re lacking and nurture yourself knowing that you’re the only one who is judging you in this way.
Write down affirmations that resonate with you and repeat them AT LEAST once a day.
As an example, for unworthiness you could write/say something like “I am on earth for a special reason and I deserve (insert what it is you feel unworthy of).”
Or “I deserve to have (insert what it is you feel unworthy of) because I am worthy. My limiting beliefs have nothing to do with what I do/do not deserve.”
Work on becoming aware of any negative narrative in your head (I’m too fat, I don’t make enough money, I’m unattractive, I have an odd personality).
Trust me, the more you put in the work and practice these things, the more automatic it will become. Remember to be kind to yourself when you’re on this journey.
(If you’d like to start online therapy with a certified therapist (plus a full toolbox including extra supportive activities) you can get 20% off your first full month with my special discount link! )
Of course I’d love for you to hang out longer and check out other related articles (see below for the latest), but I also found this related article on a quick Google search and thought it could be useful!
Please leave a comment if you found this article helpful!
