Understanding Emotional Health
Understanding emotional health is an important part of maintaining your overall mental wellness. Last month we discussed what it means to understand your emotional health (that article is linked later on).
While understanding your emotional health is helpful for the overall maintenance of it, getting familiar with what an emotional breakdown is and how to avoid it will help your overall mental and emotional well-being.
Why is Emotional Health Important?
Emotional health is important because with strong emotional health comes stronger mental health. Being in good mental health relates to how you are able to cope with everyday life.
If you are able to deal with the ups and downs in a rational and appropriate way, you’re in good mental health. Emotional health is key for sustaining your mental health.
While the two work hand in hand, they have their own differences. It’s important to have good emotional health so that you are able to cope with your emotions in a healthy way.
What is Emotional Health?
Emotional health relates to how you handle your emotions – both positive and negative.
A person with good emotional health is someone who is aware of how their emotions affect them.
They are in control of their emotions and can appropriately react to various situations. This does not mean that they don’t experience or allow negative emotions.
They simply are able to cope with the various things life throws at them in a healthy way. An example of someone in poor emotional health might be that they overreact to disappointing news in a way that does not fit the scenario.
They may also seem to be over sensitive. It’s important to try to empathize and communicate with someone who seems to be having a hard time emotionally.
I’m not saying that they should be babied, but showing understanding and offering a helping hand can help them feel understood and cared for when their world starts to spin out of control.
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Causes of an Emotional Breakdown
Usually poor emotional health is caused by a life event or a series of life events that simply weigh on an individual’s emotional well-being.
While each person’s experience differs from the next, being aware of different potential triggers can help you recognize. Here are a handful of life events that have been known to trigger poor emotional health.
Losing a Loved One
Obviously this is a hard thing to deal with for anyone. The repercussions of the loss of a loved one can leave more of an impact than initial grief.
When people experience losing someone, whether they were already under stress and experiencing other struggles or not, they could be pushed over the edge into an emotional breakdown.
Everyone deals with grief differently. For some, it will be too much to handle in a healthy way while others may experience an emotional break and need more support and time to recover.
It’s not easy for anyone, but the pre existing state of your mental health can certainly impact how severe your experience with grief can be.
Getting Divorced
Whether getting a divorce is a positive or negative experience for you, getting a divorce can be a very emotional experience.
If the divorce was a good decision and you’re happy with it overall, you’re still left with dealing with the loss of the broken relationship.
At one point in time you made that commitment with hopes of spending your lives together happily. No matter how you slice it, it’s a loss.
A loss of what could have been. But you know what they say.. “…could’ve, should’ve, would’ve…”.
Even if you divorced an abuser or a complete psychopath, at one point to another feelings of grief for what could have been might pop up and spiral you into a poor state of emotional health.
If the divorce was not your decision and you’re devastated about it, then the emotional toll is much more obvious.
A broken heart speaks for itself and the emotional experience from something so abrupt will absolutely come at a cost.
Getting Married
Not all joyous occasions are free of negative emotional effects. While getting married is amazing, it can also trigger feelings of things coming to an end.
If you lost a significant loved one you may be overwhelmed with feelings of loss while wishing they were there to celebrate with you.
There are so many reasons why an amazing celebration such as marriage can be bittersweet.
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Financial Problems
If you’ve been dealing with financial difficulties for a while, you might think you’re used to it and it doesn’t bother you.
However, humans have an amazing ability to block things out that continually bother us as a coping mechanism.
If you’re continuously dealing with something as stressful as financial struggles, you could easily find yourself slipping into an emotional breakdown.
You could find yourself being really “touchy” and every little thing might bother you. This is a sure sign of poor emotional health and if not addressed, it could progress into an emotional breakdown.
Relationship Issues
Relationships are the single most valuable thing we gain in life and they are also the biggest contributors of stress and emotional anguish as well.
Back before common decency was recognized as the “norm” a common term used in regard to this point was “Women, can’t live with them and you can’t live without them.”.
While this is just as true for men as it is for women, the relationship really doesn’t matter. It’s no secret that we are hurt the most by the people we love.
If someone you love dearly continues to put you down, undermine, neglect or abuse you, you may fall into emotional distress and experience a breakdown.
At that point you either need to address the situation or remove yourself from it. Communication can be a very powerful tool in this case.
By communicating the ongoing issue that is causing the emotional breakdown, one can address their struggles head on and start to heal.
Having a Baby/Adoption
When you bring a child into your life, it’s an emotional time. Not only has your daily life just changed forever, but you are not responsible for the care and well-being of someone else.
It’s a huge commitment, similar to marriage that requires a huge responsibility shift whether you know it or not.
Some new mothers experience PTSD or other stand alone symptoms such as depression or anxiety after giving birth to a new baby.
By embracing the event and recognizing that a lot is changing (and that’s okay), you will be able to engage with the changes are they’re happening. By being present with the life changing events.
Moving Homes
As exciting as a move can be, it can also be stressful and emotionally draining. If you’re moving away from family and friends, getting used to your new lifestyle can be very hard to deal with.
Even if it seems like you found a good coping mechanism, eventually feelings of extreme loneliness can creep in. It’s important to do everything you can to have a healthy transition.
Don’t overwork yourself during the move and make a plan to stay in touch with loved ones.
Getting a Promotion
How can something as positive and exciting as a promotion possibly cause emotional strain to the point of an emotional breakdown?
With promotion usually comes more work and responsibility. While it’s great to challenge yourself, make sure you have established a boundary for your new role.
Work life balance is important for mental and emotional well-being. Also, you won’t be able to perform as you should if you reach a breaking point.
Some people have also suffered emotionally from a promotion because of the financial aspect as well.
If you’re the type of person who upgrades their lifestyle by increasing their spending whenever more money comes your way, you may find yourself having an emotional breakdown over the immense strain of keeping up with the Jones.
Symptoms of Emotional Health Issues
Many people show signs of an emotional breakdown before the breakdown happens. Everyone could experience a different combination of these symptoms.
Previous circumstances and triggers are what decide the symptoms in each individual case.
Here are a handful of things to watch out for if you feel like you or someone you know may be heading suffering emotionally.
Extreme Feelings of Sadness
Obviously it’s normal to be sad at times. A loved one passes away, someone is hurtful toward you, or maybe something else happened that makes you feel sad.
This is a healthy emotion to have when the time is appropriate.
However, someone suffering from an emotional breakdown will be extremely sad for seemingly no reason or they will appear to be overreacting to something somewhat minor by being extremely sad.
In my own experience, I’ve had times where my emotional health was very poor to the point where I started telling myself lies and blowing emotional things out of proportion.
I’ve experienced an emotional downward spiral of feelings of extreme sadness and in the moment it feels legitimate. During those times, you will rationalize the sad thing(s) you’re fixated on.
They seem undeniable and that false realization of that magnifies the sadness you’re experiencing.
Excessive Crying
This symptom may or may not go along with the last extreme sadness depending on your personality.
While crying is a great outlet for emotional pain, someone about to experience or who is experiencing an emotional breakdown may be unable to stop crying for a substantial period of time.
There does not have to be a reason for it either. Sometimes your emotional health is in such a poor state that you may feel the urge to just cry for what seems like no reason at all.
Feeling Lost/Hopeless
Feeling lost and/or hopeless during this time is also a common symptom. This is due to exhaustion and the fact that you have probably been living in a cycle of poor emotional health for a while.
Feelings of hopelessness could be directed toward external circumstances that may not seem that bad otherwise.
When you’re experiencing this extreme sense of hopelessness, everything will seem extremely difficult. You may slip into depression and have to work toward overcoming that as well.
Feelings of Shame
When someone is feeling an emotional toll before or during a breakdown, they will feel out of control and obviously more emotionally sensitive.
Some people may even experience feeling shameful for their emotional state. They will seem extremely self conscious and apologetic about their behavior.
Since what they’re experiencing is so strong, they will feel like their negative behavior is obvious. Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t.
When someone is constantly apologizing for their actions or reactions, they may be close to an emotional breakdown. They will want to try to act “normal” and will apologize for their emotional state.
Feelings of Blame
This symptom is similar to feeling shameful as people in a poor emotional state will feel the need to overcompensate.
They may blame themselves for various things that are not their fault. They may even start to think that they deserve to feel the way they do for whatever reason.
Self Harm
Even more alarming, some people resort to various methods of self-harm when they’re going through an emotional breakdown.
Typical forms of self harm in this case could be hitting or cutting oneself and substance abuse.
Usually this is an extreme case. If someone is going through an emotional breakdown and cannot cope, their last resort for a sense of control may be self-harm.
Feelings of Unworthiness
When someone reaches the point of an emotional breakdown, they may experience false narratives in their mind that make them believe they deserve what is happening.
They may rationalize exaggerated scenarios and start to feel like they are unworthy of comfort, emotional peace or even just having or experiencing good things in general.
Distraction and Lack of Motivation
Similar to depression, when someone is experiencing an emotional breakdown, they will often lose interest in most activities. Lack of interest and engagement at work will occur.
They may blow off social plans and opt to stay home more frequently. Eventually, it will be hard to force themselves to do anything at all. Usually at this point, something will shift.
Either they will start taking care of their emotional and physical needs or they will slip into depression.
To directly answer the question. “What is an Emotional Breakdown?”, simply put, it’s when someone is in such poor emotional health that they are unable to function as usual.
They will show a few or all of the symptoms listed above and their distress will typically be somewhat obvious. Many people describe the experience as feeling like they’re “losing it”.
How to Achieve Good Emotional Health
To achieve it…
Take Some Time Off
Similar to what was mentioned in the article Understanding Mental Health, taking time to step back and observe what is going on with your emotional health is the first step toward achieving emotional health.
While you can achieve a healthy state of mind working around your schedule with daily practices, having a day off will jumpstart your progress.
Plan for your day off in advance and make sure you have everything you need to reset yourself. Take the time to address what symptoms you have. Try to trace back to the actual cause(s) of your distress.
If you can’t take time off of work, or if you’re a stay at home mom with no breaks, try daily practices. Consistency is key.
Pick a few activities like journaling, meditation, exercise and breathing exercises.
Talk to Someone
Talking to someone about your health is always a good idea if you’re comfortable doing so. Getting an outside perspective is very helpful for an outside solution.
Whether you’re more comfortable talking to a family member, friend or a certified therapist, having that outlet can do wonders for improving your mental health.
Not only can sharing your problems help you get another perspective that helps solve the issue, but you might realize that your troubles aren’t as big as they may seem.
Additionally, if you opt to speak to a certified therapist, they will have the experience and skills needed to help you resolve and avoid your triggering instances in the future.
To maintain it…
Get Professional Help
As briefly mentioned before, talking to someone usually helps those experiencing poor emotional or mental health.
A professional counselor will be able to zone in on what brought your breakdown on. They can also help you see daily triggers that build up and inhibit your overall well-being.
Eventually you will work through your emotionally harmful cycles and will gain the skills to support your emotional health on your own.
Avoid Alcohol
In so many words, alcohol and poor mental and emotional health are not a good mix.
The physical effects that alcohol has on your brain will make your mental and emotional health worse when you’re struggling to maintain it.
It might be challenging to avoid that quick “escape” with a glass or two of wine, but it’s key for quicker recovery.
Think of it like a cold. When you’re sick you feed yourself healthy things to get better. It’s the same thing. What you put into your body physically and chemically affects it.
Sleep more
Sleep is so important for any aspect of your health. Physical, mental and emotional health all rely on the consistency of good sleep practices.
You need to plan for it. So many of us have such demanding schedules that going to bed early is the last thing we want to do.
Rearrange your schedule and go to bed an hour earlier. Skip the Netflix binge and get some much needed sleep!
When you get enough sleep, regularly, your mind will be recharged and able to handle more with ease. Having a good night’s sleep can help your outlook on a daily basis.
Plus, when you’re sleep deprived, you’re more susceptible to mental and emotional illness.
All in all, if you’re experiencing some of these symptoms it may be time to take a step back and care for your emotional health. There is no shame in asking for help or acknowledging that you’re struggling.
If you’d like to learn more about how your emotional health can affect your health, check out this article!
I hope this article helped educate you on what to look for when it comes to understanding emotional health. Avoiding an emotional breakdown is possible with daily practices and by simply being more aware of your triggers and capabilities.
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