What is Dependent Personality Disorder


Dependent personality disorder (DPD) symptoms are some of the most noticeable out of many personality types.

Lately, we’ve been talking a lot about anxiety and personality disorders. While dependent personality disorder (DPD) is one of the least frequently diagnosed disorders, it’s still just as important to get familiar with it.

Discussing Dependent Personality Disorder

DPD is an anxiety disorder that seriously affects a person’s daily life. Their whole world revolves around the need to be cared for and to have approval from others.

Typically, if you haven’t developed this disorder by the age of 30 then you most likely will not.

This could be because adult responsibilities force you to make decisions for yourself and be more self-reliant. However, there are more extreme cases where those suffering with DPD will avoid personal growth and limit themselves.

Their comfort zone is relying on others. However, it’s not as selfish as it sounds. People with DPD often suffer just to make others happy. They’re a prime target for an abuser. 

If you’re suffering with DPD, you would feel uncomfortable making your own decisions.

Especially in front of other people. You would constantly be thinking about what other people might want. You would back away from making a decision and ask other people to decide for me. 

Self-confidence in situations like this is key. It’s important to teach kids the value of their own opinion and thoughts so that they do not end up developing this disorder in the future.

Understandably, more women than men usually suffer from DPD as we are often taught to be more passive from the beginning. 

dependent personality disorder symptoms

On a somewhat related side note, I found it interesting that more men than women suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. If you’d like to get more familiar with that type of disorder check it out here.

Dependent Personality Disorder Symptoms 

There is a wide spectrum of severity within this disorder as well. When someone is diagnosed with DPD, they will experience an extreme sense of dependency. They will appear very “needy” and “clingy”.

Other common symptoms would include…

  • Extreme dependence on others’ opinions in everyday decisions. This could be anything from what they should wear to what they should eat.

  • Extreme dependence on others’ opinions in big life decisions that they should be deciding for themselves. This could include what to do for a living or what kind of house to buy.

  • Avoidance of decisions by pretending not to have a preference when really, they just want other people to choose for them. This is not out of laziness, but because they have an intense need to please others and want them to choose what they want.

  • Neglecting themselves to out other people’s needs first.

  • Very sensitive to criticism. If people with DPD purposely avoid conflict and always want others to be satisfied, it’s easy to understand why criticism might not sit well with them. They feel they HAVE to please people in order to feel settled.

  • They would not like to be alone and when a relationship ends, they will be extremely devastated.

  • There is a sense that they are incapable of doing things and will have very low self-confidence. Since they always depend on others opinions, doing things themselves will be a challenge as they will not trust themselves to make decisions.

  • They will be passive to the point where they will be afraid to disagree with anyone and will avoid a situation like that at all costs

Online therapy can help with anxiety disorders such as DPD that disrupt your life. Getting started with a certified therapist is easy with OnlineTherapay (plus you’ll receive a full toolbox including extra supportive activities)! You can get 20% off your first full month with this  special discount link! ) *linked below as well

Dependent Personality Disorder Causes

Like many disorders, the cause is generally unknown as cases always vary. DPD can be developed for a number of reasons, the most common is environmental factors as children or inherited traits from our parents.

If you’ve been following my other articles on disorders, you’ll see that many of them have a high chance of developing from the way we were raised.

dependent personality disorder symptoms

Conditioning Factors

DPD can be developed in someone who had overprotective parents. Having experienced what I would consider “overprotective” parents as well, I can easily see how this would occur.

The need to “play it safe”, be passive, not being able to make my own decisions and other factors could have easily developed into dependent personality disorder. 

Aside from being taught to “play it safe”, being shown that your opinion does not matter can also lead to the development of DPD.

We’re all born with unique personalities with our own thoughts and opinions. If children are conditioned to stay out of the way and keep quiet, then the thought that they’re the most loved and valuable when they’re basically invisible and very passive will grow into who they become.

It’s nice to be thoughtful and think of other’s needs, but if you’re continuously doing that and neglecting yourself, you may want to seek treatment. 

Inherited Factors

Like OCD, DPD is an anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders or traits are the most common of which to be passed on hereditarily.

If this is true for you, know that there is treatment and if you’re willing to work on it, you can improve or eliminate it. What interests me about the inherited nature of anxiety disorders is that it almost seems like it’s a basic survival trait.

While it’s true that it’s unhealthy, many people before us didn’t have the luxury to make mental health a priority. 

Abuse

Abuse seemed to be more commonly accepted in the past so I can very well see why so many people are now suffering and developing all types of disorders.

When someone is in a long term abusive situation, they find ways to protect themselves and cope. For many, this would include developing methods and actions that alter their personality.

This would absolutely include things like the ability to make decisions, self-worth, self-confidence and other factors involving the victim’s own person.

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Usually, the treatments for all personality disorders are similar. As I’ve mentioned in the past, the use of medication is not used as part of treatment for personality disorders. However, it may be needed to target symptoms of the disorder like anxiety or depression.

Let’s look at a few of the top treatments used…

1. Psychodynamic psychotherapy

Psychotherapy is one of the top treatments with any personality disorder, not just DPD. Psychotherapy (aka “talk therapy”) and is extremely common.

It’s used for a variety of disorders and emotional support. Psychotherapy is great for working through the daily struggles that individuals with DPD face. Such struggles include negative emotions and self-worth.

Working with a professional therapist in psychotherapy will help control the disorder’s symptoms and give the patient a better quality of life.

Psychotherapy is known for bringing positive results that patients are looking for.

Patients who opted for therapy, saw a noticeable decrease in their dependent personality disorder symptoms.

dependent personality disorder symptoms

 

The professional skills and knowledge a therapist has can help rewrite destructive patterns of behavior. This includes the dependency and insecurity that is so prevalent with those suffering with DPD.

As a result, personal relationships will improve as well as a stronger sense of self-worth!

2. Cognitive-behavioral therapy

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is also a form of psychotherapy (“talk therapy”), but it focuses on a slightly different area.

CBT specifically targets eliminating negative thought patterns. This focus is very helpful for those suffering with negative self esteem, self-worth and the value of their own opinions, needs and desires.

A therapist working with a client in CBT can help them rewrite their thought patterns in a way that supports healthier behavior.

As is typical, eventually these new behaviors will naturally become a part of their natural through process. It’s like practicing positive affirmations.

Anything that your brain is subjected to frequently, it will start to take on.

Unless DPD was hereditary, this is exactly how it was developed in the first place. Constant repetition of a thought or action and a positive or negative outcome will result from that.

Other Areas that Dependent Personality Disorder Symptoms May Affect

There are a few important areas of your life that are sometimes affected by Dependent Personality Disorder. They are as follows…

Substance abuse

The abuse of drugs or alcohol is common with those suffering with DPD. This could be for a variety of reasons including the internal struggle they may feel as they are neglecting themselves.

dependent personality disorder symptoms

It is also possible that on some level, those with DPD are aware that people are taking advantage of them. They may know they’re being abused but their disorder is so necessary for them that they feel they can do nothing to protect themselves.

Failed relationships

While abusers would not pass up the chance to be with someone as passive and submissive as those with DPD, someone who is not an abuser would typically grow tired if their dependent behavior.

Not only is someone with DPD extremely dependent and “clingy”, but they show little or no sense of self.

Imagine benign with someone who didn’t seem to have an opinion on anything and they wanted you to make all the decisions.

Some people might think you’d like that (at least for a little while) it would get tiresome very quickly. The person in the relationship without DPD may end up feeling like they’re the only one contributing in the relationship.

Those with DPD do not like making  adult decisions so dealing with childishness could be an issue as well.

Inability to keep a job

With lack of confidence comes lack of action. Those with DPD may not be able to hold a job due to performance issues or because they are not a strong contributor to the team.

They will do whatever is asked of them, but they may cause more issues than not because they believe they are incapable of handling any responsibility on their own.

Developing other disorders

Anxiety disorders such as dependent personality disorder often lead to other anxiety disorders if they go untreated.

Typical anxiety disorders that can develop are avoidant personality disorder and obsessive compulsive personality disorder.

Avoidant personality disorder is known for the individual having an intense fear of always being judged. Along with that, they will always feel like they are inadequate and that nothing they do can please people.

This all plays into their belief that they cannot do anything right and that others need to handle things.

Unfortunately, people with DPD that also develop ADP will always feel worthless. This is the case even when they spend the majority of their energy trying to please others.

If you’d like to learn more about obsessive compulsive personality disorder, check out this recent article:

What is Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder

It’s important to keep in mind just how rare the diagnosis of dependent personality disorder really is.

We all rely on our loved ones for comfort and it’s normal to have some hesitation around self-confidence at times.

It’s important to not overthink it.

If you have any personal concerns, talk to a therapist about it! Therapy will ease your mind and provide a personalized solution to things you struggle with daily.

If a loved one of yours has dependent personality disorder but does not want to acknowledge or discuss it, suggest the option of online therapy to them.

It’s convenient and confidential. Encouraging your loved one to get help before their disorder further develops is crucial to their quality of life in the future.

If they are still not willing to talk to a therapist about their disorder, encourage them to talk to you about it!

Being understanding and helping them the best way possible will go much further than criticizing them for being “too clingy”.

Sometimes extending love and compassion is all we are able to do but it can go a long way.

As previously mentioned, here is my discount link to sign up for online therapy (plus the “extras” toolbox) at 20% off! GET HELP ONLINE 20% OFF

Want to hang out a bit longer? Check out more recent articles from the blog…

Resources and Helpful Articles

Sheppardpratt.org

my.cleavlandclinic.org

healthline.com

mblblogger

Hi, I'm Marissa! I'm passionate about mental and emotional health and want to share what I've learned over the years with others! I've seen first hand how mental health struggles can cause serious issues within relationships, work life, daily productivity, self-worth and more! I truly believe that we owe it to ourselves to bring more awareness to these life changing topics. Start your mental/emotional health journey by learning more today!

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