“Congratulations on graduating high school! What do you want to do with your life!?” Woah… I’m 10 years out of high school and this question still gives me mild chills.
Or how about that dreaded interrogation at family gatherings where your aunt is asking (for the 100th time) when you’re going to settle down, get married and give her a grandniece/grandnephew?
Nothing is more counterproductive than trying to make someone feel obligated to make a major life decision, Aunt Becky.
When I graduated high school, I knew I’d be pursuing a degree in accounting but honestly, that’s only because it was the best idea I could come up with at the time.
The set work schedule in a comfortable environment with decent pay is the best option, right? To a scared yet determined-to-succeed 19-year-old yes, it was the right answer.
For the next several years it gave my life direction and purpose. I was on a mission to prove that I could be successful and independent. Fast forward to present day, and I accomplished that goal.
Okay so now what? I’m 29 exactly where I thought I always wanted to be. In a comfortable 9-5 job at a great company who truly values their employees that also has a great mission. I don’t ever have to worry about anything ever again…
What more could one ask for?
How about passion, purpose and a sense of fulfillment so overwhelming that you can’t wait to get out of bed every day? Not really the expectation that my “Tax Accountant” position offers, but I’m grateful for the job just the same.
If you can relate even the slightest, you’ve come to the right place. Mental and emotional well-being have been life-long endeavors of mine. I’m happy to say that it’s okay to feel like you’re not where you’re supposed to be in life. Only if you don’t ignore those feelings.
Feeling like something is missing from your life or that you’re not fulfilled is the first step in your journey!
Time to start working toward that amazing and exciting life that deep down you’ve always wanted.
But understand, there is nothing wrong with playing it safe until you’re in a position where you can explore your passions. Sometimes I think that developing my love for writing and mental health should have come 10 years ago but I know I wouldn’t have had the amazing life experiences that have led me to the place I am today.
So, if you’re stressed out because you don’t feel like you’re where you should be in life, here are the steps that have worked for me! My goal is that they will help point you in the right direction.
Step 1 – Acknowledge that nagging feeling that you need more to fulfill your life
Stop brushing it under the rug and confront it. Change is rarely comfortable but that does not mean that you shouldn’t pursue it.
After all, you’ve played it safe your whole life and you’re still unfulfilled, right? That’s okay, but it’s time to switch things up.
I suggest taking some time to write down ideas of what you want for your life. Getting a journal to document your journey can be really cool too. Imagine how exciting it would be to be able to look back over your journey! Comparing where you were even a few months ago is so encouraging.
Step 2 – Figure out what you want in life
This might be one of the hardest steps. You have to quiet yourself and listen to that tiny faint voice that knows you better than you know yourself.
If it’s something you’ve always wanted but thought you couldn’t have then it will be easier to figure out because it’s been with you your whole life. On the other hand, maybe you feel ‘okay’ with your current circumstances and don’t really know what you want.
If this is the case, ask yourself these questions:
3. What is something that consistently makes me feel envious?
Again, honesty is key! Do you love watching ‘Dancing with the Stars’ but deep down you wish it were you out on that dance floor? (okay, maybe you don’t, but I kind of do 😀 )
Or maybe you love exotic cars and everything about them? A more relatable topic of envy for some is the ability to travel the world and experience a vast variety of countries and unique cultures.
2. What would I do with my life if you never had to worry about paying bills?
We’re responsible adults so providing for ourselves and perhaps our families takes priority, as it should. However, if you can pursue what you want for yourself while still making an income then maybe it’s worth doing whatever is necessary to make that dream a reality.
After all, having fulfillment in what you do is a major purpose of our time here. It’s worth it.
3. What is something I know I’m amazing at or could talk about for hours?
If someone has told you that you’re good at something or you have a “knack” for something and you can feel that you do, listen to that! Develop that talent in whatever capacity you can.
So basically, whatever it is that you always told yourself you can’t do, have or be, is the thing you need to pursue. Scary but SO exciting!
Step 3 – Plan it out
Make a realistic timeline for this new venture and figure out how you’re going to make it a reality.
If you’re taking on something huge that will potentially take years to come to fruition, being flexible with your timeline is a major key to success.
Personally, I always wanted to do something with writing and helping people with daily mental health and well-being. When I started this blog (just 6 months ago) I had no idea how many twists and turns were in store for me.
Be patient and stick with whatever it is you’re pursuing. I’m far from where I want to be in my blogging journey but receiving positive feedback and settling into effective processes are both helping so much.
Keep your eye on the end goal and continue to let the process evolve as needed while staying focused and committed. It’s going to be so worth it and you’ll respect yourself more too!
Step 4 – Start your new life journey
Now that you have a rough plan in place, it’s time to take action!
I like to break my goals down into bite sized daily actions to get me to my long-term result.
Don’t let yourself always think about the mountain you’re climbing. Instead, take it one step at a time and enjoy the view along the way.
Enjoying the process of your personal growth is a huge part of the reward at the end.
If you’ve always wanted to learn a new language and by week two, you’re frustrated and feel like giving up, that’s the time where you need to keep pushing through.
By persisting when you don’t want to, you’ll develop grit and mental muscle.
Surrounding yourself with things like vision boards, videos and podcasts relating to your goals are a great way to keep you on track. The more you can be in that mindset, the more it will naturally become a part of you.
Step 5 – Believe in yourself and do not give up
I know it sounds cliché, but seriously, you HAVE to believe in yourself and what you’re doing.
Believing in your journey is easier when you remind yourself that you’re pursuing something that was always a part of you, and you have a natural knack/desire for it.
Yes, there might be a lot to learn along the way, but you already have the diamond – you just need to polish it (a lot).
If you need to change direction a few times in order to really believe in what you’re doing, do it! Just don’t give up and stay true to yourself.
Extra little tip: Celebrate along the way
Remember, you’re doing all of this for yourself – that’s a big deal! Be sure to celebrate the smallest victories.
Keeping an open mind will come in handy too. Sometimes it might feel like you’re taking 2 steps forward and 1 step back, however, this often brings a lot of learning opportunities.
I never thought I’d learn the lessons I have since starting a blog (most of which relate to conquering self-doubt and being more disciplined with the little bit of spare time that I have).
When going through this change it might not always feel right, but if the goal you’re pursuing is going to bring your life more fulfillment, stick with it!
Remind yourself WHY you’re making the sacrifices you’re making. Working on yourself and your personal goals is such a rewarding feeling. And when you’re doubting yourself, think about how you used to feel before starting on whatever crazy, exciting journey it is that you are on.
I’d chose facing doubts and struggles toward success over not trying at all any day – You’ve got this.
Hey! Before you go…
Please feel free to leave a comment! I’d love to know if you found this article helpful!
Also, if self-care for mental health is something that interests you, check out the 3-Month Self-Care Challenge for Mental Health. In this course, I go over the methods and strategies that I’ve used to implement the mental health practices that I now call habits!
Click the link above, or check it out HERE
